i hope you find your ambergris

arianna's personal blog;
a conglomerate mass of jumbled thoughts trying to rearrange themselves into something coherent and meaningful
but failing

my ex wants me back. and he has the AUDACITY to assume i want him back. i don’t.

"23 signs you’re an introvert"

i identify with 22 of them

i’m tired of being asked for advice and giving it, even though it’s never taken

like why did you ask me for advice in the first place

why do you ask me every time something happens please just figure these things out for yourself

i mean, i do it all the time. every time in fact.

jesus a porn blog just messaged me what do i DO

i can’t go to sleep without reading until i fall asleep because i think too much about things that terrify me or make me incredibly lonely

at least talking about or writing about my thoughts is calming

so few things are nowadays

simple things have become a blessing now

i’m so overwhelmed by thoughts of what is to come and what the near and far future hold

i should never have found stumbleupon

but seriously i had some shit friends in high school

i once confided in a friend in high school that i was really lonely and she just looked at me and said in the most patronizing way, “No you’re not.”

And i almost cried right then and there and she didn’t even notice because she was so busy not caring

She was one of the reasons i was so lonely

"I’m wasted, losing time
I’m a foolish, fragile spine
I want all that is not mine
I want him but we’re not right”

all the dates i’ve written sound very introvert-friendly

hopefully i can find someone like me to go on these dates

unlikely

"Girl you must know you are lovely.
You’re kind and you’re beautiful too.
And I feel in some way I do love you.
But babe, I’m not in love with you.”

God how I wish I wasn’t bitter all the time. It’s so ugly. And yet.

i have never wanted to go to school this badly i just want to GO

heck i don’t think i’ve wanted to go to school past grade 8

i just know university is going to be fantastic and i can’t wait i don’t even care if that sounds stupid